Emotional intimacy is a close psychological connection with someone else. When this connection is present, you know that the other person understands important parts of you. You may feel cared about, safe, comfortable, or relaxed.

Emotional intimacy, or close connections with others, are valuable whether you are connecting with family, friends, or partners. Human beings are social creatures. Our natural desire is to be around other people. But if you feel distant from the people in your life, then you could feel lonely no matter how many people are around.

Shallow connections aren’t unusual. How many times have you developed a deep bond while ordering take out? We don’t have to connect with everyone, and we can’t.

When we do want to connect with someone more deeply, it involves sharing parts of ourselves that are risky. Examples include: “I know you disagree with me on this but… I want you to know this difficult thing I’ve been through… I’m going through a hard time with…”

If you share something important to you, and the other person still cares, listens, and understands, then you’ve done it! You’ve made a stronger connection. However, those risks could lead to misunderstanding, or rejection. By taking this chance, you might find that it pushes you further apart. That’s the risk of emotional intimacy.

Resolving this challenge, choosing your level of risk, and figuring out whether the risk is worth it, are all topics that can be discussed in therapy.

There can be an overlap between emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy. An emotional bond can enhance feelings of attraction and desire. In other words, emotional intimacy can improve your sex life.

Some people only experience emotional intimacy in the middle of sexual intimacy. In this scenario, people may only connect if they are having sex, or may feel lonely or misunderstood in all other situations.

Even if the connection extends to a partner outside of the bedroom, this can still cause stress in that relationship. Being someone’s only emotional baggage carrier is a heavy job. The stress of this burden can lead to resentment, conflict, and disconnection.

These are issues that can be addressed in therapy as well.